Renege – To fail to carry out a promise or commitment. Well that’s not me…no siree. I told them I’d check out Harley’s little cafe “The Fusion” at Glendale Gardens. I mean really, how hippie chickpea and wheatgrass could a Sunday brunch be? So donning my coat (which is not like darning and does not involve needles or thread) I set out. After the required 2 trips to the loo (I get excited over the saddest things or was it terror over the upcoming gastronomic experience) we arrived to find it was rather more like a few chairs and a snack bar with chalk board. The “brunch” menu was scribbled on the board and my anxiety was truly enhanced (where’s the toilet?). Let’s see…Bagel with goat (baaaa!), Duck, Duck…Pig (no thanks) and finally her version of Eggs Benedict (minus the Benedict), duck eggs with blue cheese (I’ll take 6 Immodium to go please). The only thing with “duck” in it was me ducking out. So I did go to the Fusion Cafe as promised….I just didn’t eat there.
The day continued in a similar vein when I stumbled accidentally upon the Gay Pride parade. It seemed to involve topless Lesbians with pasties, balloons, more pastie Lesbians, more balloons, and no men with pasties on their dangly bits (which seemed sexist and unfair to me). We turned around and headed off to see “Horrible Bosses” and let me tell you this fair citizens of earth. There is nothing horrible about Jennifer Aniston, naked except for a lab coat and white lace panties. I’m just saying…and for those of you that prefer boys, Jason Bateman is kinda hot for a boy and for those boys that like balloons and parades their is the always adorable Kevin Spacey.
Some people have horrible bosses, other’s have horrible co-workers who after they depart the establishment at which they worked are still stalked incessantly by co-workers. After a brief visit to the Maritime Museum it was off to the waterfront in search of said co-worker.
Carefully taking up my stalking position behind a rack of canoes, I endeavored to get photographs of Dan, Dan, the wooden boat man. Since he was afar and I was a near and wanted both of us in the shot (to proove my exceptional stalking abilities), I discovered that no matter what I did one or both of us would be blurry. I was thus spotted (not like a Dalmation) and confronted but my alibi was solid. I was there to deliver an envelope or so I said. I had put his name on it, stolen some stationery from a local establishment and made it look very official. I managed some degree of chit chat, keeping the boat man occupied but not so overlong that he suspected a stalking. Then I feigned that I got lost on departing (oh me…oh my…I think I’ve been locked in. Whatever shall I do?). Forcing the boat man to further delay his departure and extend my stalking for a few minutes longer.
At last I departed for my home and the end of another Sunday in the life of Baxter. Now pause for a moment while I upload my blurry photo and until we meet again. Happy stalking.
